night wounds

another night doused in wounds & neon, gravel choked open, me throbbing like a secret in the front seat of a stranger’s car, the needle delivering me further out of my life with each jutting quiver. god watches me like a tolerant father as he undoes my skin with the rigor of a butcher ‘til i’m all whetted bone & viscid grief. ever since i’ve been let loose i’ve learned to barter hurt for hurt, swapped the razor for a man’s hand, the ward for a chokehold, scabs for the mauve of a bruise, each night swallowing the pink pill of a tongue, the nip of hypodermic fingers as i try to inhale back my father’s body into being. each new step into life is only another means to die. there are no longer ways of living.